parents: “u should be more active”
All I could think of was APH England I am laughing so hard.
Are yoU OKAY???? LIKE DO YOU NEED SOME WATER OR MAYBE YOU’D LIKE TO LIE DOWN FOR A WHILE??? ARE YOU RUNNING A FEVER???
I’m a different person now, okay? I’ve changed. I’m not who I used to be. I’ve turned over a new leaf. (In all actuality that is a really hilarious story where I learned never to fall asleep with my mouth and bedroom door open.)
You know, I always did think that monotonous gray circles wearing sunglasses were sexy. I always thought it was just me.
I actually have you all fooled. I am, in fact, a young, vaguely irritated David Bowie that has convinced you I am actually a teenaged girl.
I am in excruciating dental pain now is not the time for bad pick up lines
I NEVER FUCKING NOTICED THE CHAIR THING AND NOW IM FUCKING DEAD
Dude you’ve been missing out cause this moment is poetry in motion
mother fucker is the most graceful and smooth ass bitch you will ever see